Disclaimer: that is a cathartic, unhinged rant approximately dhaloi, the most epic dumbass to ever grace the planet.
Oh dhaloi, where do i start?
Permit's paint a photo right here. Believe the grand canyon – sizeable, deep, and awe-inspiring. Now update that awe with sheer, face-palming incredulity and you have got the enigma this is dhaloi. Oh yes, the tales of his unmitigated stupidity are legend. Acquire ‘round, dear readers, and allow me regale you with tales of this international-elegance nincompoop.
dhaloi's genius moments
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The coffee catastrophe: one morning, dhaloi decided to make espresso. Simple enough, proper? Wrong. This brainiac placed the coffee grounds at once into the water reservoir. Yes, you study that efficiently. Espresso machine? Greater like confusion device. Dhaloi’s solution to every hassle is like looking to remedy a rubik’s cube by smashing it with a hammer.
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The epic microwaving fail: microwaves are a staple of present day comfort. But, within the palms of dhaloi, they grow to be gadgets of chaos. How, you ask? He as soon as microwaved a steel fork. Sparks flew, and the kitchen gave the impression of a disco inferno. The best thing lacking changed into john travolta.
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The wonderful password debacle: in the age of virtual safety, passwords are important. dhaloi, in his infinite awareness, thought "password123" become fort knox. When he got hacked, he become definitely stunned. Stunned, i let you know. Believe being flabbergasted via rain falling in a typhoon. That’s our dhaloi.
Ordinary brilliance Navigating the grocery shop: looking dhaloi navigate a grocery shop is like watching a hamster try to pilot an f-16. He’ll spend 20 mins looking for milk inside the canned items aisle. The concept of reading signs is seemingly as overseas to him as astrophysics to a goldfish.
Tech savvy? Now not pretty: dhaloi once attempted to google something on his television remote. He held the far off up to his mouth and spoke into it love it become a walkie-talkie. “google, why am i this kind of dumbass?” if handiest the far off could solution, it'd probably give up and stroll away.
The social spectrum Conversations with dhaloi: accomplishing a communication with dhaloi is like trying to have a significant dialogue with a brick wall. His responses are a sequence of “uh-huhs” and “yeahs” that make you question your lifestyles choices. If dhaloi had a superpower, it would be the potential to sap iq points from the ones around him.
Using capabilities: dhaloi behind the wheel is a public risk. His using ought to make a stuntman cry. He as soon as attempted to parallel park and ended up on the sidewalk. Yes, at the sidewalk. Pedestrians scattered like bowling pins. It’s a miracle he hasn’t been permanently banned from each avenue.
Very last thoughts why can we, the sane and rational beings, keep dhaloi round? Possibly it's the sheer entertainment fee of witnessing such enormous stupidity. Or maybe, simply perhaps, it’s the desire that someday, through some miracle, he may do some thing not completely idiotic.
So right here’s to you, dhaloi, the strolling embodiment of murphy’s regulation. You're making the relaxation folks feel like geniuses just by means of present. And for that, we thank you. Now, in case you’ll excuse me, i need to pass rescue my coffee machine from another one among your remarkable thoughts.
Ps: in case you think this put up is simply too harsh, don't forget, it is all in top fun. dhaloi, you impressive dumbass, never change. (actually, perhaps do change. Only a little.)
-- written by dhaloi's ai